Category: Competitions

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A few poetry comp deadlines coming up

be in it to win it

This is the post I set out to write before I got sidetracked with my last one! So enough with the musings. I just wanted to mention some poetry competition deadlines coming up. Like London buses, they all seem to come at once, so I hope you’ve got a nice bagful of competition-winning poems at the ready.

Frogmore Poetry Prize – you’ve got to be quick because it’s postal submissions only and the deadline is Tuesday 31st May. Judged by Catherine Smith, first prize 250 guineas and a 2-year subscription to The Frogmore Papers, entry fee £3 per poem. A pedigree comp with an impressive list of distinguished former winners.

Bridport Prize – also closing Tuesday 31st May, but you can enter online. Judged by Patience Agbabi, first prize is a whopping £5,000 and the entry fee is a correspondingly fat £9. One of the big ones and famous for its long longlist.

South Bank Poetry Competition – closes 15th June. Judge is Mimi Khalvati, first prize is £300 and entry fees are £4 for the first poem, £3 for the second and £2 for the third and each subsequent poem (discounts for subscribers to the magazine). This is a new competition, just in its third year, and although although the entry free to prize money ratio isn’t great, there are good reading opportunities for winners, plus publication. And the money supports the magazine.

Mslexia Women’s Poetry Competition – closes 13th June. Judged by Liz Lochhead. First prize £2,000 plus a week’s writing retreat and a mentoring session, entry fee £7 for up to 3 poems.

Troubadour Poetry Prize – closing Tuesday 21st June. Judges are Glyn Maxwell and Jane Yeh. First prize £5,000 and a £5 entry fee. Another of the big ones – the deadline is earlier than usual this year, but at £5 a go it’s good value from a comper’s point of view.

Plus there are more listed at the Poetry Library. Good luck!

Angst/

The Reading List, winding up

I'm nobody, who are you?

First: general ‘how I’m feeling’ stuff, feel free to skip down if you’re short of time

Apologies for the silence these last few days. The usual self-employed person’s dilemma of feeling like rubbish and simultaneously wanting to stay on top of work and not let people down.

Yesterday I had to leave early from John McCullough’s poetry workshop at New Writing South, for fear of irritating everyone with my endless coughing. Once home, I went to bed for two hours. And being a fast day was good, especially the no-alcohol bit. So the upshot is that I’m feeling much improved today (but not well enough to go to choir rehearsal tonight.)

The Reading List

My mini-review series ‘The Reading List’ has come to an end. It was just SO 2015! There are plenty of excellent other blogs featuring reviews, and looking at the stats for this site I could see that the initial interest in mine had levelled out. However, I’d like to assure you I’m still reading, and now and then I may well be moved to blog about individual poetry collections.

What I’ve enjoyed lately: Mark Doty’s Deep Lane, full of pathos, warmth and even farce – there’s a lovely tale of the narrator locking himself out of his house not once, but twice, and having to clamber through the window ‘which makes me think / this was what it was like to be born: / awkward, too big for the passageway…’ (‘Spent’).

I’m meandering my way through Mark Ford’s essays on poets, as gathered in This Dialogue of One (Eyewear). They are thought provoking, well researched and accessible (but not so ‘accessible’ that I don’t feel I’m being educated!) For example, this morning I read about the controversy surrounding the interpretation of Emily Dickinson’s work and how her editors disagreed about how it should be presented – as pure manuscript, or as ‘visual productions’. It made me think about her poems quite differently. If she’d been around today I think she would have wholeheartedly embraced everything from graffiti to video and sculpture in the course of expressing herself. Probably not a performance poet though, given her reserve. But a kindred spirit to Banksy, perhaps?

News of poetry rejections, submissions etc

Last week I spent a few days going over the poems I’ve been gathering for a next pamphlet. I haven’t entered the Poetry Business pamphlet comp for a few years now (since my over-confident days!), because I feel it’s the ‘big one’ as regards pamphlet comps, and the odds of winning are low. Also, I don’t feel I’ve had a strong enough submission, the time hasn’t been right, etc. But a funny thing happened as I was reading and ordering this latest group: they seemed quite good. So I thought I’d just do it, and enter. I ruthlessly ditched a couple that seemed weaker, although I like them. I’d also resurrected a poem that first saw light of day in The Interpreter’s House about 4 years ago, but that I’d been working on to improve since. In the end I had 21 poems. I wasn’t sure about the title, but I never am. Anyway, it’s sent now. Never to be thought about again, until I can try it somewhere else!

Are you currently sending out pamphlet submissions? What’s your feeling about them? I once heard a poet talking about how she wouldn’t send out her MS unless she’d first paid a professional poet to edit it. Is that usual? I just kind of naively thought you put it together yourself, did your best to order the poems, eliminate any stupid errors, and … send. And if someone liked it, you then worked with the publisher/editor to hone things up. Do share your own experience of this, I’d love to know.

Meanwhile I received yet another rejection last night, to add to the one last week. Talking about kicking a sick poet when she’s down. Still, not quite as bad as getting a £100 speeding fine three days before Christmas – Top of the Season to you, DVLA! Still, as regards the rejections (I prefer ‘DECLINED’ as a folder name) I console myself with the fact that several of the re*****d poems had been out so long I’ve since revised (and hopefully improved) them. We shall see, when I try them elsewhere. On the good news front, Charles Johnson of Obsessed with Pipework has found space for my 2 poems in the February issue, so I won’t have to wait until May to see them in print and settled down.

And MORE good news – Telltale Press has at last been accepted by the Poetry Library as a legitimate press, which means we will have a listing on their website and that all our forthcoming pamphlets will be available there. Another small but significant sign of recognition, and gratefully received.

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Three small press poetry competition deadlines coming up

Poetry comps

Ah! Poetry competitions. Love ’em, hate ’em? It helps when you win something occasionally, admit it. Sadly, the stats are against us, but would we have it any other way? Who wants to be a winner if everyone else is too?

And on the subject of probability, I just read that the British state lottery, or Lotto, increased the number of balls from 49 to 59 three months ago. More balls! More chances to win!? Er, no. In fact it lengthened the odds of winning the jackpot from 14 million to one to 45 million to one. Which means anyone entering is 3,750 times more likely to be struck by lightning than to win the big one. What a swizz! Not that I’m bothered, because I don’t play. No sirree! I put my hard earned spare change into POETRY COMPETITIONS. Then again, of course I’m very grateful that others do play the Lotto, because they’re helping to fund the arts, heritage, sport and numerous other projects that our taxes no longer support.

The fact is that many small publishers run comps in order to stay alive, and while there are punters willing to enter them, why not? Personally, all I ask from competition organisers is they spend an equal amount of time publicising the winners as they do persuading people to enter. It seems only fair, yet it’s not always what happens. For my own part, I do enter comps, but only when I think I’ve got a competition-style poem that’s ready. The fees do add up, and after a while I feel a bit guilty about it. Then again I’ve had a bit of luck with comps in the past, for which I’m very grateful. Hence the love-hate-can’t decide attitude.

Anyway, I wanted to give a shout out to to three esteemed small poetry magazines and their current competitions, just in case you weren’t aware of them. It’s tough going when there are other, bigger or more established comps happening at the same time.

If you have a competition-winning poem or three in your knapsack, please consider sliding them their way.

The Interpreter’s House 2015 Poetry Competition
Closing: January 30th 2016
Judge: Jonathan Edwards
Prize money: £500 / £150 / £100
plus Seven Highly Commended
Entry Fee: £4 for single poems, £10 for three

Prole Laureate (who wouldn’t want a title like that?)
Closing:  January 31st 2016
Judge: Kate O’Shea
Prize money: £200, 2 x runner up prizes of £50
Entry fee: £3 for first entry, £2 for any subsequent entries

Brittle Star poetry competition
Closing:  1st March 2016
Judges: George Szirtes & Jacqueline Gabbitas
Prize money: £250, £50, £25
Entry fee: 1st poem £4.50 then £3.50 for any subsequent entries

Someone’s got to win, and it could be you – or better still, me – tee hee. Good luck!

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Lewes & Oxford readings this week, plus poet friends’ success

october 2015 poetry readings

Ah, National Poetry Day seems to be the unofficial kickstarter of the poetry season (is that ‘open season’)? Last week saw a flurry of competition results and exciting announcements: Facebook was groaning under the weight of congratulations and almost couldn’t keep up.

First of all the Stanza Poetry Competition, won by Graham Burchell to whom I hand over my tiara (although I think it looks better on me, to be honest) and Runners Up none other than my old Brighton Stanza mates Marion Tracy and Tess Jolly. Yay!

Then lovely poet friend Abegail Morley scooped up the Canterbury Festival Poet of the Year award (not exactly from under my nose – I only made the longlist, but I would have put up a fight if I’d been there!) Hurrah!

For my own part, I’ve nothing amazing to announce but I did make the longlist for the Poetry School/Nine Arches ‘Primers’ competition. Longlisting is an interesting idea – I have to remind myself that its purpose is actually to encourage the entrants. Longlistings don’t make it onto CVs (except possibly for the National). But at least you know you came close-ish.

This week sees a lovely bumper crop of readings – on Wednesday 14th October I’ll be back on my old manor in Lewes for the launch of South Magazine 52. I was one of the selectors together with Jeremy Page of The Frogmore Papers so will be be reading a couple of poems alongside a number of the contributors including poet friends Lucy Cotterill and Miriam Patrick. The selection process for South is done anonymously, so I had no idea we’d chosen poems by Miriam and Lucy, but it was a nice surprise.

On Thursday 15th, I’m in … Lewes. Yep – like I never left! It’s the quarterly Needlewriters readings, this time featuring Matthew Stewart, Ros Barber and Caroline Clark. I’m not reading but as I’m on the committee I’m naturally there helping (?) out where possible. It’ll be nice to remind my Lewes poet friends that I haven’t actually stepped off the edge of the planet even though Eastbourne is a foreign country; they do things differently (t)here.

On Friday 16th, that somewhat rakish editor of The Interpreter’s House Martin Malone has kindly invited me to join him for the launch of his new collection Cur (Shoestring Press),  at the Albion Beatnik Bookshop in Oxford. He’s probably hoping to placate me after rejecting the poems I sent to TIH earlier in the year – ggrrr! The other guest readers are fellow Telltale Siegfried Baber, lovely Swindon poetry impresario Hilda Sheehan and the seemingly ubiquitous Roy Marshall, who pops up in every magazine I look at these days. I last met up with Roy in the summer at a reading in Camberwell organised by Richard Skinner.

I need a good night’s sleep after getting back from Oxford because on Saturday 17th I’ll be giving a talk to the Society of Women Writers and Journalists on the subject of … well, it’s a wide open brief, so hang onto your hats, I may be flying without a parachute. But there will definitely be some tech evangelism, some uplifting female empowerment messages and some major myth busting. Wish me luck!

Angst/

On not letting the competitive instinct crush creativity | poetry submissions stats

OK here goes.

I know some people will wonder why on earth I admit to all this in public. The reason is this: I’m sure I’m not the only person who gets downhearted about rejections, or who has self-doubts about my abilities as a poet. It’s fine not to show it if you do, and some people genuinely have no self-doubts. But I’ve also lived long enough in the belly of social media to know what a toxic and stressful environment it can be when you’re feeling vulnerable. So I think it can help to know you’re not alone.

It’s also very easy to have a skewed view of how things are going. For example, my feeling is I’ve had a poor year as regards getting stuff published. Every magazine I pick up I see a poem by Poet X or Poet Y, or I read the latest edition of Exceptional Poetry Magazine, and I think WTF – where’s my stuff?? I start to wonder what happened to the optimism and self confidence I had a couple of years ago. Or even the ability.

BUT… it really helps to do the numbers. Here’s what I found out when I looked at the stats from the last 12 months:

  • 50 poems sent out in 74 submissions (some poems went out, got rejected and went out again)
  • 48 rejections by magazines
  • 9 failed competition entries
  • 5 poems no response from magazine
  • 4 poems lost by magazine
  • 1 poem withdrawn because I had changed it a lot in the time I was waiting for a reply
  • 5 poems accepted by magazines
  • 1 poem placed 2nd
  • 1 poem longlisted

plus a pamphlet shortlisted.
I have only included competitive submissions in the above, for example I’ve not included anthologies or anything submitted by invitation. I’ve also not included poems currently out and awaiting reply (16 poems in 4 submissions).

Now what this says is that 10% of poems submitted  to mags were accepted for publication (5/50), 18% of poems sent to competitions achieved some kind of success (2/11), 14% of poems submitted to magazines were either lost, or presumed lost (no response in a year and no reply to enquiries) – 9/63.

I had a very good publication record in my first year of getting material placed (2011-2012), and in a way that’s the problem – I haven’t managed to keep that up. But actually, a 10% success rate seems fair. It doesn’t stop me feeling I’ve had a bad year and Must Do Better. That’s really just the competitive instinct in me.

What I find is that by looking at the numbers I can separate out competitive instinct from the creative instinct, and not let the former crush the latter. 

Quality of work is so hard to gauge, and it’s so clearly not the only factor when it comes to publication – yet it’s the first thing we question when work is rejected – ‘maybe my poems are actually rubbish!’ It’s a blow to the confidence. But if you trust a bit more in the stats, it can help put everything in perspective. Focus on writing MORE and writing BETTER – yes – but keep accurate records and once a year or so do a stocktake. I find it’s really worth it.

What do you think? Stupid to get bogged down in numbers? Helpful for painting a clearer picture? Stop crunching numbers and read more Bishop?

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Time for some good news!

I always seem to be having a moan about submissions-constipation and other niggly stuff on here but I thought I ought to share some of the Big Positives for a change. (I was going to call this post ‘Good news for once’ after one of my favourite Brian Patten poems, ‘On time for once’, but then I decided that was typically off-hand of me and given the poem (spoiler alert!) is about someone about to hear bad news, not appropriate. Ha!

Anyway, a couple of good things recently – The Poetry Society were kind enough to send my ‘Orford Ness’ poem (that won the Stanza comp) in for the Forward Prize single poem award. Even though I know that’s a helluva long way from being shortlisted or anything as exciting as that, it’s still exciting.

Then last week I got a phone call from a gentleman who (after I identified myself) asked ‘Are you a poet?’ Now this could have been a test of some sort, or a joke, so after answering ‘yes’ I then had a moment of doubt. ‘Well I think so,’ I added, whereupon he told me I’d got 2nd prize in the Plough Poetry Competition. My first thought was confusion, because I’d written it off, given it was a few weeks past the ‘winners will be notified by…’ date. Also, I’d already re-sent a version of this poem to the Rialto Nature Poetry competition. But it turned out judge Liz Lochhead had been running late with getting the results in. It also meant I couldn’t attend the prize giving which was on Saturday night (a few days later), but a four and a half hour drive away, not having time to change existing arrangements. I then poked around on the computer to remind myself what the prize money was, to find I’d won £500 – lordy! So having to withdraw my poem from the Rialto comp wasn’t too harsh after all. Make no mistake, this money will go straight back into poetry, a good chunk of it probably into Telltale Press, speaking of which…

Telltale Press logo

Telltale Press has recruited its newest member in Siegfried Baber, and we’re in the process of getting his pamphlet typeset and designed up for a May launch in Siegfried’s home town of Bath. This is the third pamphlet we’ve published and I’m starting to get the hang of this publishing lark – I now know how and when to enter pamphlets for the quarterly Poetry Book Society choices, how and when to register the ISBN and where copies have to be sent, and our list of reviewers and potential reviewers is growing. We’re also hoping to have a presence at the Poetry Book Fair in the autumn, our next reading is coming up in Lewes with two more potential Telltale Poets reading plus the ever-supportive Martin Malone… so a lot to be thrilled about. We’re seizing the means of poetry production and are having a lot of fun! Not only this, but Siegfried’s poem ‘When Love Came to the Cartoon Kid’ (from which his pamphlet takes its title) is also a Forward Prize nomination … yay!

And finally, the lovely Jeremy Page of The Frogmore Papers has asked if I will be a co-selector with him for the autumn edition of South magazine. This will be really interesting – my first experience of being on the blunt end of poetry submissions! I’m so pleased to be asked and really looking forward to it.

Angst/

Poetry submissions – stats for last 6 months, stocktake

poetry files

Just a quick update on my poetry submissions, in case you’re interested – I know people often like a comparison, and while those “I’m delighted to announce…” successes are all very nice to hear about, sometimes it’s good be reassured that you’re not the only one who’s not currently delighted about anything.  So, I’ve just done a 6 month audit and here’s what my submissions tracker tells me:

Magazines, waiting on:
4 poems currently out for 193 days
4 poems out for 168 days
5 poems out for 113 days
3 out for 8 days

There seems to be a long gap (no poems sent out between November and February) but that’s not entirely true, as some things were sent and returned in that time. Thanks so much to Antiphon and Ambit (among others) for your prompt responses!

Since last August I’ve had 24 poems declined by 6 magazines and 2 accepted.

Competitions: I’ve entered 11 poems in six competitions, the results of which are one 1st placed poem, one shortlisted and two sunk without trace, with the 3 remaining comps still to be judged.

On the whole I think I’ve sent out less material during this period than I’ve done in the past. I don’t have a fixed strategy, you know, such as sending a poem straight back out as soon as it’s returned. I also think I’m a bit more circumspect than I used to be.

When I first starting sending poems to magazines in early 2010, I think the first few acceptances (when they came) were like a drug – I was awash with the confidence that’s easy to have when you’re new to something. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose – and as with anything, the more you learn the more you realise the extent of that ignorance, and are humbled by it. So now I tend to sit on a poem that’s been declined, maybe go back to it a few weeks or months later, fiddle with it, wonder if it would fit another publication, sit on it a bit longer.

The other day I spent the evening filing – although I keep everything on the computer I do print poems off when I send them somewhere, or read them at an event. I’ve decided to archive a huge number of poems – the ones that never lived up to my own assessment of their merit – and I’m aiming to keep the “working on / not out at the moment” pile small. Instead of endless tweaking, I’m focusing more on writing new material. I’ve basically let go of a lot of stuff. It makes it easier to  look forward rather than back, and for me at least that’s important, as is a belief that the best work is yet to come. Do you agree? Any thoughts?

Angst/

The poetry competition game

Compers NewsPerhaps that could be a poem title? Should I send it to the Poetry London comp, or is more of a Poetry on the Lake  sort of title? Could I get some kind of double meaning out of ‘game’ in order to make it a nature poem and would it appeal to Simon Armitage when judging the Rialto comp?

‘Games’ were fun things we did as kids, weren’t they? if you discount ‘games’ – that Wednesday afternoon ritual at secondary school that usually involved mud, cold and not being picked for the team. But now we have gaming. Gamesmanship. Game over. Not fun any more. Or is it?

If we decide to enter poetry competitions we could approach it as a game (ie a bit of fun). We give a go, and if we win it’s great – sometimes a cash prize, sometimes a prize giving event or publication. Or in the case of a big competition, career-enhancing. We don’t mind paying to enter because it’s a lot of work for judges and organisers. And besides, the entry fees are a way of giving something back to poetry – the promoters of competitions are usually publishers after all, or champions of poetry in some way.

Is there an alternative? In the wider world of ‘comping’, there are people who make a good living from competitions and win more iPads, Audis and holidays than they can cope with. Apparently the secret is to approach it systematically. Less beach cricket, more The Hunger Games. A serious comper will tell you it’s a waste of time NOT to approach it this way.

So is that also true of poetry competitions? I’ve read various posts about this – what makes for a competition-winning poem, what ‘due diligence’ should be done before entering a competition, whether you’ve got more chance in a smaller competition than a big one (not as obvious as it sounds!) Judges are often happy to give their side of it, either being helpful before the fact (Emma Lee has written a good article outlining exactly what she looks for when judging a competition) or in judge’s reports (which often tell is like it is – essential reading!) Personally, I find the shortlists and longlists (for those competitions that make them public) tell you a lot. I’m often amazed at some ‘big name’ poets entering competitions. And the sheer number of entries from some poets – either money’s no object or their strategy is spend big to win big…

I also read recently (can’t remember on whose blog – help me out, someone) that competition-winning poems don’t necessarily have a place in a pamphlet (and vice versa). I quite enjoy sometimes writing to a theme, but is writing ‘competition poems’ anathema to a poet working on a pamphlet or a collection? And yet that’s a bit of a broad judgement too –  look at Ian Duhig’s marvellous The Lammas Hireling, winning the National and then the title poem of a fine collection.

I came across this interesting piece by Jendi Reiter which, although it’s primarily to do with submitting to US journals and competitions, I still found useful. I rather like her reminder that if you enter competitions, “you’re going to get a lot more rejection than validation, and internalizing others’ opinions of your worth will lead to writers’ block or fearful, unoriginal writing.” I think this is one reason I’m so ambivalent about it. I’m not sure I can keep up a healthy attitude to writing poetry at the same time as entering comps. And yet part of me enjoys the game, and every now and then I can’t resist it.

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An evening at the T S Eliot Prize readings

T S Eliot Prize readings 2015

Since being introduced to this annual event about 5 years ago by poet friends Julia and Charlotte, I’ve made it a fixture on my calendar. Held at the cavernous Royal Festival Hall on London’s Southbank, the T S Eliot Prize readings seem to be as much about the socialising and the catching up with other poets as they are with the poetry itself.

And why not? Us poety-types aren’t always the most social of bods. As well as the chance to say hello to so many poet friends all in one place, I love the buzzy feel of this event – standing on one of the mezzanine landings and surveying the foyer and bar area (was that Melvyn Bragg over there?) Rubbing shoulders with the poetry glitterati (poet-ati?) I love the wonderful mix of ages and styles across the audience – it would be hard to point at one one person and say “that’s a poet”. And yet they probably all are.

Unlike last year, I didn’t go to Katy Evans-Bush‘s marvellous pre-readings workshop day, in which all ten nominated collections are dipped into, mulled over and discussed in the light of Katy’s expert analysis and guidance. I was familiar with the work of some of the poets reading, but certainly not all. And not these latest collections.

This year the Poetry Book Society went gung-ho on the live tweeting, with two of the tweeters at the end of our row causing a slight fracas at the end of the first half as people in the row behind them asked to desist from tapping into their phones non-stop. I did feel for the complainants. I had a terrific view from my seat and wanted to take photos of the poets as they read, but couldn’t bring myself to do it as I know it can be distracting. And as I struggled to concentrate on Pascale Petit‘s reading with the phone action going on next to me, I resolved quite early on that the my phone was staying in the bag. Except for the empty lectern shot you see here, taken before the second half got going. Anyway, I think the live tweeters were more discreet in the second half so hopefully peace broke out.

As regards the actual readings (ahem!) there was nothing I really didn’t like, but I did enjoy very much hearing Michael Longley (warm, down to earth, compelling), Arundhathi Subramaniam (assured and commanding), Fiona Benson (charmingly nervous but read very powerfully) and David Harsent (made me want to read more of him). Sadly there were three proxy readers – while I was gutted that Hugo Williams couldn’t be there, it was good news to hear that he is apparently on the mend, and actor Jeremy Clyde gave an excellent delivery of Hugo’s poems. Here is the ‘From the dialysis ward’ sequence from his collection ‘I knew the Bride’ (Faber). But I didn’t feel justice was done to Kevin Powers’ work ‘Letter Composed During a Lull in the Fighting’ (Sceptre) by the reader who took his place, as he didn’t come across as being at all engaged with the material, which was a shame.

As always, Ian McMillan did a fine job of compering, picking out aspects of the various collections and pulling them into an intellectual yet entertaining ribbon of thought. Funny yet respectful. I don’t really know how he does that but it works! And who will win the £20,000 prize? Who knows!

The full shortlist and details of the judges are here. The result is announced this evening.

Angst/

Poetry competitions: ‘do you not know who I think I am?’

Winners & losers roadsign

I laughed out loud at Martin Malone’s editorial in The Interpreter’s House 57 on the subject of poetry competitions.

“What is wrong with us? […] Are we such fragile approval junkies that we need to feel repeatedly validated by our Highly Commended in the East Jokerville 3rd Annual Arts Festival Poetry Competition?” Er, is that a rhetorical question?

He goes on to question what competitions are actually for (“Do they produce some great poetry? Or do they produce great Competition Poetry? Has this notion actually become a poetic sub-genre in itself?”)

Competitions are one of those things that poets are supposed to feel ambiguous about. You know how it is: you shouldn’t appear too bitter if you go in for something and don’t win (the Troubadour winners have already been contacted by the way, and I didn’t get a phone call – PAH!). But then again, if you win something, it doesn’t do to be dismissive in an attempt at modesty (“It’s not as if it were the National!”). And yes, I’m guilty of this – but then a friend pointed out “If you go in for a competition, surely the best possible result is to win?” (ie what the &*$@?* are you moaning about…)

It’s taken me a while but I think I’ve finally learnt my lesson: the best policy is to treat winning in the same way you should treat any compliment – accept it graciously, say thank you but don’t let it go to your head.

Or as Martin says, “A personal rule of thumb with regard to competitions is that they’re all rubbish except the ones I win or do well in. And I’m right: they are all rubbish except those ones. I think I speak for many in the poetry community when I ask the question, ‘Do you not know who you think I am?’ ”  Tee hee!