Tag: brendan cleary

Anatomy of a rejection

Rejection

It was a long time coming (4 months) but Under the Radar finally emailed me a standard ‘not this time’ (or possibly ever?) note the other day, which prompted me (of course) to look at the offending poems to see if there’s mileage in sending them out again as is, or whether they merit reviewing.

I don’t know about you, but I sometimes look at poems when they’re sent back and think ‘well they were rubbish anyway’, but that might be psychological – especially when it’s hard copies in the post and they look like they’re untouched by human hands and probably went straight into the SAE within mllliseconds (as opposed to read, re-read and ummed and ahhed over) – isn’t it silly the games we play with ourselves?

This time, I’m not yet sure which ones I shall re-submit, so I won’t post the actual poems here, but I thought it would be interesting to do a little ‘hard looking’ at each one and share the process with you.

1) The first was one I was quite pleased with, even after workshopping in a Brendan Cleary session some while back. I did make some changes though, and my possibly ‘too clever’ syllabic scheme (which was supposed to tie in with the theme but perhaps required too much obscure knowledge of South American dance styles) maybe sank in its own merengue. But I think the premise is good, so I will persist with this one, perhaps send straight back out elsewhere.

2) Poem number two has been knocking about for a while and is based on a dream sequence that seemed fun at the time but I know the old ‘dream sequence’ thing is a bit of cliche. There’s a lot here I still like, but perhaps it’s a bit over-egging one decent idea, like an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, until you kind of see what’s coming. I do tend to go for cute endings and must curb the tendency for it to be too pat. This poem was first started about 18 months ago – it’s done the rounds and gone through various iterations. So maybe needs resting.

3) Quite a recent one this, and I think it was the best of the bunch. I don’t think I’ve tried it anywhere else. It’s in my favourite form, couplets, but I wonder if there’s just too much going on and  it needs simplifying. Again, I still like the premise, it’s unusual. So worth looking at the language and eliminating the extra weight, I think. Must not Try Too Hard.

4) Last but (not?) least: this one was always risky – a nursery-rhyme theme in Shakespearean sonnet form – can you say ‘rejection waiting to happen’? Actually though I think it only needs a small amount of close attention to make it decent. There are a couple of dodgy lines where the form shouts out and that’s not good. But a lot of good things. So not worth giving up on yet.

As always, I’ll keep you posted if any of these find a home elsewhere, with or without revisions!

Cartoon credit: http://billanddavescocktailhour.com/

Brendan Cleary workshop – drafting poems

The pub with no name, brighton

Yesterday I was in Brighton at the Pub with No Name (which is incidentally in an area with a pub on each street corner as well as halfway down each street, so not having a name is pretty cocky) for an all-day workshop with legendary Irish poet Brendan Cleary. (Brendan is editor of the recently relaunched magazine The Echo Room by the way – worth checking out.)

We were in the upstairs room with the bay window in the photo, with sun streaming through and views almost to the sea. It was an enjoyable, intense, not to mention beer-fuelled, day which ended in me falling asleep in my dinner, but more of that later perhaps!

The day’s focus was on the process of drafting poems. We all shared how we went about bringing a poem into being, how we beat it into shape, what triggered a new poem, that kind of thing. We each workshopped a poem before lunch, and (very briefly, although we ran out of time) another at the end of the day. In between we started a new poem and Brendan guided us through a couple of drafts of it. With just five of us in the group it was pretty full on.

In time-honoured tradition (I love being able to use all kinds of terrible cliches on this blog – sorry!) here are a few of the tips, ideas and other gems given to us by Brendan during the day.

  • On tense: it’s OK to put something that happened in the past into the present tense – the immediacy can make it fresh. But be careful not to mix tenses by accident.
  • It’s also OK to change details of something that actually happened, if the poem calls for it. It doesn’t mean you’re being unfaithful to the spirit of the poem.
  • If you use brackets, or dashes, or lower-case ‘I’ or whatever, have a rationale. Every decision like that, every punctuation mark counts and you should be able to defend your decisions if asked. They shouldn’t be arbitrary. Every tiny detail of the poem contributes to the whole.
  • Whether you start a poem with a page of notes, a random outpouring or a particular shape or form, the first step of redrafting is to go through and mark the bits you consider to be ‘grade A’ then cut everything else. With what’s left, a shape may start to emerge. Be prepared to experiment with different line lengths, different stanza lengths, different forms. What you have cut out may not necessarily be bad, and the bits you are really reluctant to cut may be the material that’s stopping the true poem from emerging – be aware of that.
  • Keep a notebook on you at all times and don’t be afraid of ruining it!
  • If you draft in longhand, the quicker you get it onto the computer the better as it helps the process of de-personalisation. Look at the poem on the page (when typewritten) and consider the logic behind the shape of it, and the white space. “The white space behind the words is the rest of the universe.”
  • Don’t get bogged down with making sure people will understand your poem. Removing some of your authorial intention is crucial – allow people to make their own interpretations and decisions as to what it’s about.
  • Engagement – you have to engage with your poem, and think about how it will engage readers.
  • A poem can go in its own direction. That’s when you might get that ‘did I really write that?’ moment.
  • When drafting/re-drafting ask yourself questions like “What do I not need to say?” “Is this really 2 poems?” “Have I given the trick away too quickly?” “Do I need to re-order lines, or even start at the end?”
  • You don’t often add to a poem after the first draft, but you often cut.
  • Poems can be made from other poems, and they feed off each other. Go back to a successful poem, one you are pleased with, or perhaps where the form suggested itself naturally. Maybe you could write another poem in that form, or the poem may prompt another. (Useful idea when putting together a collection. Poem that work in isolation don’t necessary form a coherent whole, and conversely some poems only work in conjunction with those around them.)

Brendan also quoted John Berger when he said “Poetry can repair no loss, but it defies the space which separates. And it does this by its continual labor of reassembling what has been scattered.” Reassembling what has been scattered – what a nice idea.

After a few more drinks in the pub after the workshop ended, I made my way home to find my husband had cooked a sausage casserole, and he and stepson regaled me with everything they’d been up to. But I confess I was completely burned out and halfway through dinner suddenly I couldn’t listen to (or utter) another word. Call myself a poet? I have no stamina!

The last Pighog night for 2012

Brendan Cleary - Robert Hamberger
Brendan Cleary and Robert Hamberger reading at the Redroaster in Brighton

Had a lovely evening last night at the Redroaster in Brighton, at Pighog’s last event of the season. As well as the winners of the Moss Rich competition, we had sets from Brendan Cleary and Robert Hamberger both of which I really enjoyed, and an eventful open mic, more about which later. Brendan (who I’d not seen perform before) lived up to the image of the ‘Irish poet’, reading poems mostly about booze, pubs and women… very funny and great delivery. Having said that, also included a number of very moving unpublished poems about his late brother.

I had a slight moment of panic when Robert Hamberger turned to me in the queue for the drinks. “Hello! I’ve seen your blog!” he said and I suddenly recalled the video blog I did a few weeks back, when I read a poem of his. “Oh… you … saw me reading your poem…” Thankfully, he didn’t seem to mind, and said he enjoyed hearing someone else read it. Actually I can’t remember if he said it was interesting or whether he liked it .. he might just have been being polite!

On my table I got talking to a lovely couple from Burwash one of whom turned out to be Richard Ormrod, the second prize winner in the Moss Rich competition. I told them about our forthcoming Brighton Stanza event at the Redroaster (ooh, I must blog officially about that soon) and they in turn told me about open mic events at the Troubadour in London. I do get all the emails about the Troubadour, but I’ve never summoned up the courage to go and read there. Maybe that’s one of my goals for 2013.

The evening drew to a close with drama at the open mic – I’m always moaning about open mics being too hurried, but in fact this was one where I wish the readers had been limited to one poem. A couple of people rather took the (open) micky a bit by going on at length. Plus, the last reader only managed about 3 lines of his poem due to the fact that he’d ‘been to the pub’ and couldn’t read what he’d written. Several LONG minutes later and after he’d called upon a member of the audience to ‘help’ him, a few more aborted goes at reading the sodding thing, some grappling and grabbing of the mic, a bit of F-ing and blinding, he left the stage peacefully and we all breathed freely again. That’s poets for you!