Angst – Page 10 – Robin Houghton

Angst/ 01/10/2013

Waiting on, working on, poems stock-take

I’m sat here with a number of scribbled-on poems around me, trying to decide which one(s) to resume work on and which to re-file for now. They’ve all been workshopped at some point, some of them to the extent that I’ve fallen out of love with them and not looked at them since. But surely there’s a grain or two I can rescue and use.

poems in progress — Everything here appears to be in tercets – hmmm.

I’m also checking what I’ve already got sent out, what hasn’t been sent anywhere yet, and what’s recently come back and awaiting re-sending OR filing for now OR re-working.

Currently in the ‘no response yet’ folder are:

Four poems sent to The North in May
Three to Poetry London in June
Five to Envoi in August
Five to Shearsman in September

At least three of these 17 poems I’ve since revised, which is sometimes what happens if I secretly think there’s a high probability of rejection. I know you’re supposed to only send out poems when they are the BEST THEY CAN BE. But how do you know when that is? Even stuff that’s been published I sometimes look at later and want to change.

And if you’ve substantially revised a piece, does it then constitute a new poem for the purposes of ‘simultaneous submissions’, and therefore legitimate to send elsewhere while waiting for the first magazine to reply? I haven’t done this yet (ahem! in case any of the above editors happen to read this!) but I’m thinking on it.

At the moment I’ve got one poem forthcoming in fabulous The Rialto, but nothing else. It’s not that I’m not very excited to be in The Rialto, but this year having made an effort to write more and send out more, so far I’ve had fewer acceptances. So I suppose I’m just wondering if I’ve become too hung up on quantity and the quality has slipped.

In a couple of weeks I’ll be on a poetry ‘masterclass’ at Ty Newydd, and I’m hoping it will be a kick up the bum/reality check/inspirational boost… or preferably all three. Will let you know.

Angst/ 22/08/2013

Just a quick ‘yay’ and ‘nay’

How exciting to have a copy of The Frogmore Papers hand-delivered through my door the other day – handy that the publisher lives in the same town as me! (There’s a little poem of mine in it, thank you Jeremy Page for taking it.) Very nice cover art by the way.

On the (somewhat) negative side, a rejection slip from Poetry Review, but with a hand written note from Maurice Riordan to say ‘much that I liked in them’ – just a few crumbs of encouragement, but very welcome to a poet currently starved of acceptances. However, I’m feeling pretty chilled about the whole acceptance/rejection game after having just read Maitreyabandhu’s 13 Ways of Making Poetry a Spiritual Practice, which appeared originally in Magma but was forwarded to me by poet friend Charlotte. Recommended reading if you haven’t already seen it.

Angst/ 18/08/2013

A couple of rejections this week – oh well

Two rejections this week – firstly, a ruthlessly perky email from Mslexia regarding their poetry comp (subject line “Better luck next time!”) – I suppose it’s good to be told you haven’t won anything, rather than not hearing anything, which is the norm. Nevertheless it felt a bit like failing to hook a plastic duck at a fairground sideshow – sorry love! – and the consequent tearing up of the losing raffle ticket. Ah well. At least the subject line wasn’t ALL IN CAPS.

Then I got a rejection from Magma, who I’ve found are generally very good at quick turnarounds of submissions, so all credit to them. This one seemed to be an individual rather than a standard reply, since the editors explained that while my use of ‘sound language’ fulfilled the brief better than most of the entries they had so far received, they hadn’t felt the three stanzas related sufficiently to one another to justify the subtitle I’d given it (‘Three voice canon’). I sent a off a quick ‘no problem! thanks anyway!’ chippy kind of reply, then woke up during the night wondering why on earth I hadn’t at least explained that the ‘canon’ referred to the reciting of the poem by three people almost simultaneously, the stanza breaks being the places where the next voice starts.

Should I have explained this in a footnote? Personally I don’t care for footnotes or complex explanations. But this is the first thing I’ve written intentionally for performance. So, yes, you guessed it, I sent another email saying just that – ‘since you took the trouble to offer feedback, I wanted to just say . . .’ – which probably came over as passive-aggressive but it wasn’t intended that way. I hope I was brief, calm and polite. I realise if there was an alternative reading of the piece then the fault is entirely mine, and I probably should have left it there. I’ve never engaged in correspondence over a rejection before, and in the deafening silence that greeted my email I had a sinking feeling that I had behaved badly. What do you think? Have I blotted my copybook? Clearly my ‘canon’ isn’t a page poem – so maybe I’ll publish it here on my blog and save it for performance only (I need 2 co-performers though!)

My week has been dominated mainly by very sad news of a poet friend, the kind of news that stops you in your tracks and makes you think just how inconsequential in the scheme of things it is to be blogging about the microworld of poetry or the ups and downs of competition entries and magazine submissions. And I remember the words of a neighbour and friend who died last year aged just 52, ‘in the end, all that’s left is love.’

Angst/ 21/07/2013

Anatomy of a rejection

It was a long time coming (4 months) but Under the Radar finally emailed me a standard ‘not this time’ (or possibly ever?) note the other day, which prompted me (of course) to look at the offending poems to see if there’s mileage in sending them out again as is, or whether they merit reviewing.

I don’t know about you, but I sometimes look at poems when they’re sent back and think ‘well they were rubbish anyway’, but that might be psychological – especially when it’s hard copies in the post and they look like they’re untouched by human hands and probably went straight into the SAE within mllliseconds (as opposed to read, re-read and ummed and ahhed over) – isn’t it silly the games we play with ourselves?

This time, I’m not yet sure which ones I shall re-submit, so I won’t post the actual poems here, but I thought it would be interesting to do a little ‘hard looking’ at each one and share the process with you.

1) The first was one I was quite pleased with, even after workshopping in a Brendan Cleary session some while back. I did make some changes though, and my possibly ‘too clever’ syllabic scheme (which was supposed to tie in with the theme but perhaps required too much obscure knowledge of South American dance styles) maybe sank in its own merengue. But I think the premise is good, so I will persist with this one, perhaps send straight back out elsewhere.

2) Poem number two has been knocking about for a while and is based on a dream sequence that seemed fun at the time but I know the old ‘dream sequence’ thing is a bit of cliche. There’s a lot here I still like, but perhaps it’s a bit over-egging one decent idea, like an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, until you kind of see what’s coming. I do tend to go for cute endings and must curb the tendency for it to be too pat. This poem was first started about 18 months ago – it’s done the rounds and gone through various iterations. So maybe needs resting.

3) Quite a recent one this, and I think it was the best of the bunch. I don’t think I’ve tried it anywhere else. It’s in my favourite form, couplets, but I wonder if there’s just too much going on and it needs simplifying. Again, I still like the premise, it’s unusual. So worth looking at the language and eliminating the extra weight, I think. Must not Try Too Hard.

4) Last but (not?) least: this one was always risky – a nursery-rhyme theme in Shakespearean sonnet form – can you say ‘rejection waiting to happen’? Actually though I think it only needs a small amount of close attention to make it decent. There are a couple of dodgy lines where the form shouts out and that’s not good. But a lot of good things. So not worth giving up on yet.

As always, I’ll keep you posted if any of these find a home elsewhere, with or without revisions!

Cartoon credit: http://billanddavescocktailhour.com/

Angst/ 05/07/2013

I mislaid my poetic mojo in a Ghent hostel

Having been away for four days ‘helping’ with a college trip to Belgium (my husband was the tour leader – his A level students) I’m finding it hard to get back to poetry.

I suppose it’s partly because I’m having to catch up with work as well, and not having a proper night’s sleep the whole time we were away (teenagers don’t go to sleep before 2am, so nor can anyone else in a Youth Hostel where there are no carpets and the doors all slam).

Although they were (for the most part) very nice people, I just found the whole being-around-40-teenagers utterly exhausting and a tad depressing. Their energy saps mine, their zest for life deadens my creativity. I’m amazed at how so many writers are able to combine a teaching career with writing – and yet it’s such a common combination, whether it’s by choice or necessity.

OK, I realise I’m probably being over-dramatic here, after all I think a foreign trip is tiring even for the full time teachers, because you’re never off-duty, not for a moment.

Anyway, I think I now have an even higher respect for my husband and his colleagues for everything they bring and give to teaching. I just know I don’t have that kind of generosity in me!

But on a more positive note… lots to look forward to, not least of all some much-needed sunshine!

The answer to a creativity deadzone for me is to read, and read good stuff. I’ve still to explore the new Poetry Review and Magma which arrived a week or so ago, plus I’m reading Abegail Morley’s Snow Child and Ben Parker’s The Escape Artists, so I’ll be talking about those soon on the blog.

Poetry readings coming up: Hilda Sheehan has very kindly invited me to read at the Blue Gate Poets meeting on 8th August in Swindon, and I’m currently talking with the organisers of the Shoreham Wordfest about putting on a poetry night where I hope to be reading alongside some lovely poet friends. Then come October there are exciting plans for a reading with Abegail Morley and Emer Gillespie – will keep you posted.

Angst/ 23/06/2013

Unaccustomed as I am

(So sorry about the weird asterisks etc in the following – just that last time I mentioned the B word I got immediately spam-commented and spam-followed by some decidedly un-poetic peeps.)

It’s been quite a busy week, easier to do it in reverse order – yesterday and Friday I was in London at the BritMums conference, speaking about b* logging (actually about b* log design, which really got my imposter syndrome alarm bells ringing. Bad enough presenting at a conference where I felt like an alien already – being about 20 25 years older than the average attendee and 100% less maternal.) That doesn’t mean I wasn’t delighted to speak there of course, and all the people I met were lovely. The event certainly had a friendly, supportive vibe. But nonetheless I was a teensy bit out of my comfort zone. Plus, the Waterstones stand at the show didn’t even have my book for sale – claiming they couldn’t get hold of it, even though the publisher pointed them to reserve stock for them to access. Even though I’m not on a royalties deal, it didn’t look good that my book wasn’t there. GRRRRR. ( I really liked the venue by the way – The Brewery, in the city – a great change from the terrible Hilton-type identikit conferences.)

Britmums Live weekend in London — From The Brewery to Catford precinct – two sides to London

Staying overnight in London did mean having the chance to see one of my good friends from schooldays and stay in her lovely big quiet house just a stone’s throw from where we went to school. It’s an area of south east London which as a teenager I never had much time for, but funny how going back there all I see are wide roads, leafy parks, a greengrocer on every corner and PLENTIFUL public transport links. *Sigh*

Last Monday I was in Tonbridge giving a talk on .. yes … the B word .. to a group of writers. The group is a newly formed ‘hub’, or outpost of New Writing South. The group included quite a few poets, including the lovely Abegail Morley – always nice to see a friendly face or two at these things! I was ready to feature Abe’s fab blog The Poetry Shed plus a whole host of others in my talk, but was thwarted by the Great Firewall of Kent County Council. Oh yes. Internet access? No problem – you just can’t bring up any actual websites, especially anything to do with poetry. There might be some LANGUAGE I suppose. So the talk about b* logging took place without visual reference to any actual b* logs. It kind of reminded me of the time I had to take an exercise-to-music class and my tape machine broke down. (In case you’re wondering, I just counted out loud. A lot.)

On the submissions front I’ve been sending off quite a few bits and bobs – some more hopeful/speculative than anything, but I seem to have written a good amount of stuff the last couple of months and although I’ve not had the chance to workshop any of it I’m just going with my gut instinct about what is and isn’t good enough to send out. So either way, the second half of the year should be eventful. I sent some poems to Under the Radar back in March, so I’m hoping to hear from them soon (?) – I’ll let you know, whether yay or nay. And then there’s that bit of good news I had about a month ago and it STILL hasn’t been made public and I’m getting REALLY itchy about it (or maybe that’s that the humungous mosquito bites I sustained the other day.)

That’s all for now – thanks for reading and I hope you have a super week.

Angst/ 19/06/2013

Getting poetry out there

As I sit down with a cup of tea in my favourite mug (pictured above – just an excuse to feature it, really! I inherited it from my mum, it used to be one of pair but the other got broken, and I’m so attached to this one I dread anything happening to it. It’s not as if I’m a raving royalist but I love the kitsch of it, so wonderfully lacking in irony, plus there’s just something touching about this reminder of Charles and Di in their youth, before all that stuff happened…) erm, where was I?

Anyway, I was just thinking about my fellow book group members who I’ll be seeing tonight, and how popular book groups seem to be, and why more people don’t read poetry .. the perennial question! I was also thinking of a conversation I had earlier this week with Margaret Wilmot about her new pamphlet, published by the highly respected Michael Laskey at Smith’s Knoll, and the challenge of distribution and sales. I was also thinking of a blog post I read yesterday at Rack Press Poetry about Amazon listing pamphlets as ‘unavailable’ when they actually are (but not from Amazon).

There is so much intelligent debate around the issue of how to get more people reading and buying poetry. I enjoyed this recent post by Judi Sutherland, for example, and her ideas of what she would do if she were the ‘marketing manager for UK Poetry plc’.

Of course, the distribution issue is classic chicken-and-egg. Bookshops won’t stock poetry from publishers or authors they’ve never heard of – not just because they fear they won’t sell (they can always send them back) but because the valuable retail space they would occupy is more profitably allocated to yet more copies of the latest E L James or whatever. So bookshop browsers never come across any poetry books, don’t know even the names of any poets and therefore are never going to ask for poetry or poets.

I know this argument well, from my experience in the sports industry. In the 1990s, UK sports retailers were notoriously male-sport-oriented. Independent stores in particular were owned and managed by men. They refused to stock a decent range of women’s sports shoes, their argument being that ‘women won’t pay more than £30 for a paid of trainers’ or even that ‘women buy kids trainers because they go up to their size and are cheaper.’ It didn’t seem to occur to them that women were only buying those products because they had no choice, and didn’t know what else was available. Retailers wouldn’t take the risk, didn’t understand what female customers wanted and didn’t care about the product except in terms of SKUs (stock keeping units) and getting the highest turnover per-square-foot.

Getting retailers to stock women’s sports shoes took an awful lot of work: sales reps had to be educated and incentivised, demand had to be generated and demonstrated, point-of-sale material had to be funded together with other shared-risk schemes and special conditions, favours had to be called in. The manufacturer had to put their shoes on high-profile female athletes and use them in advertising. All before retailers would take a chance on women’s shoes. And we’re not talking about a tiny shoe manufacturer that the retailer had never heard of. This was Nike. (You may think things aren’t much different today but trust me, it’s better than it was.)

I don’t see how it can be any easier for a publishing niche such as poetry, especially considering the tragic state of retail in general right now. The excellent Inpress appears to do a great job on behalf of independent presses, getting poetry books into bookshops. But in general, retail does not take risks, and if I ever have a pamphlet to sell I won’t hold my breath for Waterstones or Foyles to stock it.

So can anything be done to stimulate demand? I think we have to devise more ways to get poetry onto the radar of what Judi Sutherland calls the ‘nearly theres’. I’ve always loved Poems on the Underground, for example. I’m not so keen on the watering down of poetry by harnessing it to something else ‘more popular’, such as bringing out a poet or two at a music festival. I worry that it may reinforce the association between poetry and song lyrics, when it would be nice to see them have an argument occasionally. But maybe that’s just me.

Perhaps all of us who are in a book group should introduce a volume of poetry when it’s our turn to choose, rather than a novel. Perhaps we can help get poetry into more public spaces – shop windows, noticeboards, on the backs of bar menus, on buses, on mugs. Perhaps we should think like old-style ‘interruption’ advertisers. A poetry short in place of one of those endless trailers before a film. How about some guerrilla poems left around town on tables or in shops – the knitters and crochet people do this very well! We need more (some!) poetry on TV – come on, film-makers, I can think of half a dozen ideas for a compelling poetry-themed programme.

OK my tea’s cold now, so rant over. Let me know your thoughts. Have we really tried everything? Is poetry destined to be forever a teeny drop in the publishing ocean?

Angst/ 04/06/2013

Poetry writers and poetry readers – a tricky issue

It was a small turnout last night at our Stanza reading group in Brighton – just Miriam, Gary and myself! Of course there are all sorts of reasons why that might have been – the first time it has clashed with a sunny evening, plus there’s been some confusion about the start time and content of meetings in recent months due to an unfortunate bookings error by the pub.

The reading group is a relatively new thing which a few of us thought would be fun and would complement our workshopping meetings perfectly. The idea is that we each bring with us copies of a poem for everyone to read, discuss, perhaps learn something from and even spark an interest in seeking out more by that poet. It’s very relaxed and all you need to enjoy it is an open mind. Last night, Miriam had brought a poem by U A Fanthorpe and I had with me two short poems by C P Cavafy (incidentally, if you’re interested virtually all Cavafy’s poems are online here.)

Unfortunately I didn’t study English at university and haven’t done a Creative Writing course or anything where I would have come in contact with the poetry canon, so I love the idea of being introduced to poetry and having my awareness raised in this way. But the meetings have been pretty quiet. We talked about why that might be. Are those people writing poetry just less interested in reading the poetry of others? Are people put off because they think it’s going to be too academic or ‘serious’? Or do people just want to do their own reading in private and don’t see the point of going to a meeting to talk about it? (Things like weather and time of day are, I think, the kind of issues easily overcome if the desire is strong enough.)

The Brighton Poetry Stanza, being affiliated to the Poetry Society, is all about encouraging and supporting poetry and the poetry community. In my mind that means the whole business of poetry from learning the craft, giving and receiving feedback on work in progress, discovering and reading poetry, supporting poets, going to events (or staging them) and so forth. Since Jo Grigg took on the job of revitalising the Stanza several years ago it really has really taken off – meetings are full, we’re twice staged group readings in Brighton and have started to take part in ‘Stanza Bonanza’ readings at the Poetry Cafe in London.

But people vote with their feet, and Miriam can’t be expected to keep showing up for the reading group if no-one else does. So maybe the group is a lost cause, for whatever reason. One thing we did talk about yesterday was the possibility of combining the reading and workshopping groups in a more structured way. When we’ve tried this informally, it hasn’t worked because everyone just wants to workshop and when you have 10 or more people there’s no time for anything else. However, perhaps at least one person could agree to bring something by another poet. In that way, everyone would get exposed to something by Hughes, Fanthorpe, Dickinson, Duffy or whoever. A little moment of ‘let’s see how the professionals do it / did it’ – sneaking in the ‘educational’ bit. Or is that just too prescriptive/controlling/patronising?

What do you think? Have you been through this yourself? I’m posting a link to this on our Stanza facebook Page also, in the hope that members might have comments or suggestions. Should we just stick with the workshopping and stop inventing problems? For my own part, I just know that for years I used to write poetry, when the only poetry I’d read had been for A level English. I knew I wasn’t writing well, but thought that was all I was capable of. I just didn’t get the connection. When the lightbulb finally went on it led me to raise my game, and for that I’m eternally grateful. I want others to have that feeling.

Image credit: JamesJaffe.com

Angst/ 15/04/2013

Submissions: this week’s yays and nays

Poetry Wales rejection and Obsessed with Pipework

Oh OK I might as well admit it – there are no new YAYs to report. But issue 62 of ‘Obsessed with Pipework’ arrived, including my poem ‘Calamity’ which just crept in at the back. It’s a bit of a weird one (the poem that is) and I’m grateful that Charles Johnson at ‘Obsessed’ has a keen eye for the quirky. In the magazine I spotted some nice work from a couple of people unknown to me but who I’m now tempted to seek out – more of that in another post.

Elsewhere in the mail, a nice note ‘I was interested to read your poems but not enough to offer publication’ from Poetry Wales. As usual, I look at the sorry poems squished into the SAE and wonder what milligram of merit I once imagined they contained. I’m hoping I may not be quite so ashamed of them once they are refiled and separated from the negative vibe of the no-thank-you note. Once dusted off, I may just send them out again. Or they may be destined for the ‘revisit one day’ folder.

Thank you to everyone for your lovely notes of sympathy by the way. I was really touched by messages of support from people I’ve not even met. Testimony to the power of social media – if I didn’t already believe that it’s all about people and NOT technology, I certainly would now. My mum’s funeral is planned for next week.

Meanwhile I’ve a couple of things to look forward to at least – on Thursday morning I’m leading my first workshop for New Writing South, on the subject of ‘Feel the social media fear (and do it anyway)’ – for writers who are reluctant to use social media for whatever reasons. I’m expecting some tough opposition – wish me luck!

Then on Saturday I’m attending a workshop with George Szirtes in Swindon on Saturday courtesy of BlueGate Poets. And I’m excited to be finally meeting Josephine Corcoran IRL after much lovely correspondance via this blog and various social media.

Angst/ 25/03/2013

Notes from a workshop

Last week I was lacking inspiration, part due to work commitments and then a 3-day headache – ugh – so it was a pleasure to once more find myself in the interesting ambience of the Lewes Bus Station building for another workshop with Mimi Khalvati and the group of serious poets I seem to have inveigled myself into. (Can one ‘inveigle oneself?’ Hmm).

Sometimes in these situations I have a feeling of ‘this is not real’. I suppose it’s the usual ‘I’m an imposter and any minute now I’m going to be found out’ anxiety that I gather many women (especially) suffer from. A bit like jobs I’ve had in the past when I’ve sat in meetings and had the distinct sensation of acting like I know why I’m there, like I know what’s going on and my presence is making a difference. It’s not exactly the fear of being unmasked, like that scene in ‘Working Girl’ when Melanie Griffith is accused of being a fake and leaves the boardroom saying ‘sorry! sorry!’ It is something like that. But it also feels like I’m in a play, or someone else’s dream. There’s something fragile about the situation, grounded in nothing much. It’s like meeting a childhood hero in your kitchen or office. The strange mix of something that’s at once real and unreal. The feeling that it might be you who’s actually experiencing this or it might be something you’re dreaming or watching happen to someone else. And then wondering if there’s any difference.

Anyway, sorry for the cod-philosophical moment there – back to business – it’s very odd how sometimes in workshops there emerges a kind of theme. I remember a previous session where there were a lot of poems about water. And another where houses featured prominently. This week, dreams and fairytales came up quite a few times.

So in no particular order, here were some of Mimi’s general observations/comments that I made a note of … hope they’re of use /interesting.

When you have what’s basically a list poem, how will you meld together the various items on the list? If you use the same construction for each (eg active verb phrases like He puts out …. she ties together … they wait.. etc) it can get wearing. What’s the mortar that will tie the ‘bricks’ of the poem together? Maybe think about rhythm more, or bring in other tenses, sentence constructions?

We’re often told to avoid poeticisms, and yet one that sometimes slips through is a noun phrase that starts “what…’ as in ‘what stirred him at that moment was XYZ’ or ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. Mimi says this is a sightly archaic construction – not something we tend to say in speech – beware.

General point on form – the structure needs to convey a thrill, just as much as the image or emotion you’re communicating.

Natural speech stress is not the same as metrical stress. When writing in strict metre it can be tempting to put in the little words that you might ordinarily leave out in free verse. But you can sometimes afford to drop the extra words and still keep to the metre. (This is something I need to work on – I tend to get drawn into ‘dumty-dum’ phrases if I’m not careful.)

Punctuation – it’s possible to be too punctilious! If someone is a fast reader, they may lose some of the excitement/interest if they are slowed down by commas or being too deliberately led. Specifying the pauses in this way can also put a big responsibility on those phrases to ‘scintillate’.

Category: Angst